Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Is this real life? ~~Review for In The Stillness by Andrea Randall

*This book is not for the faint at heart*

Man, where do I even freaking start. 

Natalie is a mother, 
Natalie is a wife, 
Natalie is a cutter,
Natalie is damaged, 
Natalie is sad, 
Natalie is unhappy. 
The list goes on.

Cutting is Natalie's way of a release from a life she never wanted, her release from a past that still haunts her, and cutting is her way of making her feel good even if just for a few minutes, in that high. 

Natalie is married to Eric, a guy she met in college. Her and Eric got married because she got pregnant, with her twin boys Oliver and Max. Natalie loved Eric, never the way she should but she doesn't anymore. She hates him, for the life she didn't want, for the children she didn't want, and for never being able to finish her goal at her PhD and having to be a stay at home mom. 

You learn about Ryker, Natalie's past....Natalie's present true love

After ten years of not seeing Ryker, Natalie starts to dream about him and feel all her pain and anguish over him again, that mixed with her unhappy life, is enough to getting her cutting after ten years of not doing it.

Unexpectedly, Natalie runs into Ryker and they still feel that pull. They slowly become friends... again.

What I love most about this part of the book is that Natalie is to the point where she knows her story with Eric is over and now she has to rewrite herself as someone new without him. She knows she has a lot of work to do to herself. And instead of jumping right into the arms of Ryker, she finds herself, and works on herself first. She has to learn to overcome her cutting and learn to overcome her child's new disability that she never saw coming. She has to become Natalie, before she can become Natalie and Ryker again. 
Slowly, but surely Nat and Ry find their way back to each other. 

Ryker takes an interest in her boys as well, pretty much telling Natalie that he takes her as a whole, boys included because they are perfect because they are part of her. She brings the boys out to meet Ryker at his farm and she lets him know that she will sign to Ollie so he can understand her and Ryker gets right down to Ollie's level and starts signing to him, 
"Well,' he starts again, his hands slightly shaking as he talks and signs, 'I couldn't be the only one who didn't know what was going on, could I?' He looks to the boys and laughs as my eyes fill with tears.." 

He learned sign language just so he could meet her boys and just for her. It is one of the most touching parts of this amazing book.
They find their love

they find themselves, 
and they find their happiness away from the darkness. 

"Do you still love me?"
"You said in Dr. Greene's office that you love me. Did you mean that in past or present tense?"
"Do you still love me?" 
"I never stopped Nat. Not for a day."

~This was EASILY a 5 STAR read for me! Easily. It was amazing, one of the best books I have read this year! If you have picked up your copy of In The Stillness already, you really really should! 

**** 5% of the proceeds of this novel will go to the New England Center for Homeless Veterans **** <--- If that isn't enough of a reason to go get this book, I don't know what is!

AMAZON LINK: http://amzn.com/B00CB24VS2 

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